2014: The most exciting year yet!

2014 is going to be a really exciting year for Faz and I!

Apart from forging closer knit relationships with each other and our families, we’re going to be planning for our first home, which is the next big project for us. We’re expecting to receive our keys somewhere in Q3 2014, but whether we’ll get them earlier is really anyone’s guess.

I know I should have already moved on to “house” mode, but I’m still stuck in “wedding” mode. I feel like I need to be done with all wedding-related matters like publishing all wedding- and honeymoon-related entries and getting our wedding photos printed before I can open a new chapter, y’know what I mean?

Some of the other things I’m looking forward to in 2014:

  • Whipping myself (and Faz) back into good shape! The rate at which we’ve ballooned these two months post-wedding is ALARMING, and it’s got to STOP. Time to participate in some races!
  • Spending our first Ramadhan and Eid as husband and wife.
  • A wedding in the family.
  • Parenting classes. I’ve no desire for kids at the moment, but I think we should be prepared for when it happens. And besides, it’ll give us something interesting to do instead of our usual movie and dinner dates.
  • Travelling. I don’t know how much travelling we can do with the house coming along but I’m hoping for at least ONE destination — not too much to ask, is it?
  • I really let myself loose these two months, but it’s now time to save like there’s no tomorrow.
  • Starting a daily gratitude blog to record the things I feel happy or grateful for as they come so that I can look back in life and remember only the good things. Case in point: I can only remember two things in 2013 — our wedding and the stress of wedding planning.
  • Work on my spirituality.

May this year be even better than the last for you, me and everybody! <3

Panic Mode: ON

I have something to confess.

I had already begun to lose some steam with regards to wedding preparation (GASP!) over the last couple of months, but a meeting with Faz yesterday to discuss outstanding tasks quickly put things into perspective.

Armed with my laptop and kahwin-kahwin file containing invoices and such, we sat for a solid two hours at Starbucks to update our task list. It was truly an awakening. We were identifying a new small and seemingly unimportant task every five minutes, and these sneaky bastards, they just kept coming! I get major palpitations looking at my To-do list now. And I’m pretty sure that’s not the end of it.

We also sorted out and made a list of the due dates and amounts for payments. It’s easy to drop deposits here and there to secure vendors because they’re usually just a tiny fraction of the total payment, but well, you’re going to have to pay the rest of it eventually and this really just made us sick to our stomachs. Can I not part with my money, pretty please?

Looking at the figures on that list is enough to deter us from buying stuff we don’t actually need, so Faz says to refer to the list every time a desire arises. Hell, maybe I’ll even set it as the lock screen on my phone.

It’s now down to 6 months to the wedding. Of this, there are only 53 days in the weekends in total — the actual time I’m really left with to prepare for the wedding, after excluding all my work days. I’m going to have to plan and spend my time very wisely if I want to get everything done….draw up a Gantt chart, maybe?

All this whilst I still have 8kgs to lose! I used to think it was going to be well, not exactly a piece of cake, but at least easy because I’d done it before, but it’s proving to be more difficult this time round. Desk-bound job, lack of healthy food options for lunch, the condition of my knee, and effects of being on the wrong side of my twenties, basically — all these factors are really coming into play and affecting the results.

Are you panicking yet? Because I sure as hell am!

A new milestone? Not!

I think I might just plunge into depression. You see, I just bought a weighing scale.

(I can probably end my post here, since you readers can go figure. But I choose to rant and you shall listen.)

After possibly a year of living in blissful ignorance, I finally stepped onto the scale. I wasn’t expecting to see a nice figure obviously, but what came as a rude shock is that I AM CURRENTLY THE HEAVIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY WHOLE FRICKIN’ LIFE! A NEW BLOODY MILESTONE!

How the hell did I get so fat? I won’t divulge my weight, but suffice to say I need to lose close to 10 kilos.  

It is with this knowledge that I am officially springing back with a vengeance. Starting NOW.

There’s a little story behind the weighing scale though. You see, my very good friend Syafiq and I are both in the process of shedding the extra pounds. So we came up with a neat little way to spruce up our weight loss journey, which as we know, can be the one of the most arduous and disouraging journeys to embark on. We agreed that every Friday we would step onto the scale, take a picture of the reading and send it to each other. This not only tracks our weight loss, but having someone to “report” to also puts positive pressure on us to keep the weight constantly down throughout the week. And Syafiq is the the perfect person for this because he trained me for my first ever 21k race back in 2008.

I was actually thinking of getting Faz to get in on this weight report thing, but I’m doubtful the above approach will work the same way for Faz and I as it will with Syafiq. How do I know this? Because when I broke the news about my weight to him, he said, “Alaaahhh…..tulang you yang berat tu“.

Wahliaooo. How to lose weight, you tell me? He’ll be graciously making excuses for me for every kilo I gain! But it’s okay, different people react to different things — there’s no one-size-fits-all. What worked fairly well for me and him in the past was when we worked out together. There was a period of time when we spent most of our dates just working out, skipping the movies (and inadvertently the popcorn) and dinners (and inadvertently the dessert). However our schedules started clashing — and clashed enough times that it eventually died a natural death.

Likewise, at the moment it’s a little hard to set gym or running dates with him because of our schedules. I work office hours, and he works shifts. And he attends evening classes twice a week. And then there are his group meetings. And family days. At the rate it’s going, we’re only meeting once a week, on average.

I guess we’ll just have to count on ourselves to fight our battles alone till we can fight them together.

Meanwhile, I leave you with yet another inspirational workout quote.

The only bad workout is the one that didn't happen

Project Wedding Body

Yesterday, the boyfriend and I started running again. We’ve abandoned our running shoes for about a year now…boy oh boy, what a difference a year makes.

In fact, I had put on my running gear and was about to step out of the house when I realised I didn’t even know where my running shoes were! I finally found them in a shoe bag in my big Ikea tin can where I chuck all my unused bags. They were in there long enough that they even had this store room smell. I was just hoping they weren’t going disintegrate halfway — I bought them back in 2008 to train for my first half marathon.

I think I’ve a pretty good idea what my next paycheck will go to.

We took it easy yesterday. We knew we weren’t going to (and probably couldn’t) push ourselves to run in a day what we missed out in a year. I was also wary of how my problematic knee would react to the impact, so I went really slow. As expected, my stamina was really crappy. Fats could be felt jiggling in all places. But I was happy enough that I started because to start, as we all know, is biggest challenge of all.

I really hope that this was the workout to officially kickstart Project Wedding Body!

I leave you with something to think about:

A one hour workout is 4% of your day. No excuses.

R is for Reluctance

So June is less than a month away now. If you recall, one of my 2012 resolutions was to book most of the important vendors by June.

That’s going really well. -.-

To date we’ve secured the venue, photographer and videographer. We’ll talk about our choices later on a sidenote, but yes, ONLY these three! I am beginning to panic a little.

After self-disecting my very muddled brain, I now know the true reason why I’ve been putting off making appointments with vendors.

Apart from general indecisiveness (which bridal company to choose, how many outfits I want tailored, etc), I found out that I am actually RELUCTANT to splurge on a half-day affair.

Right now, I would say I’m about 60% reluctant. The remaining 40% is basically me being a brat stamping my feet, going “NAK JUGAK!!”.

Heck, who am I kidding. Ok, it’s the other way round.

Still, 40% reluctance is a stronghold. It’s almost half! Every time I think of how the money can go towards supplementing our plans for our house (I’ve grand plans for this too, much to the boyfriend’s trepidation), the percentage goes up. And then when I think of wedding celebrations — the many people I treasure around me sharing our joy, pretty dresses, how smashing everything in its entirety will look in photos — well, it goes down again. It’s very volatile.

I have a feeling we’ll end up at the “NAK JUGAK” end of the spectrum — simply because my heart wants it. We’re trying to cut down on costs, but it’s really hard because we’ve already cut out the frivolous things and cutting any further would mean a compromise on quality (plus there are a few aspects of the wedding that I just can’t persuade my heart to let go). The reality of it is that I think I would be more upset if we didn’t go ahead with these things than if we chose to scrimp on it. Furthermore, money can be replenished but you only get married once. And I mean, it’s not like we’ll be spending an unreasonable amount to begin with…

/sends doe-eyed looks the boyfriend’s way

Gah, a rather pointless post, I know.

Taking resolutions to a whole new level.

Old habits really die hard, huh. I intended for this post to go out before 2012, but no prizes for guessing what happened along the way. Don’t worry, I’ve stopped listing “Stop procrastinating” on my list of resolutions a long time ago.

Now on to the post.

In retrospect, it’s a little sad that in my 25 years of life, this is the first time that I’ve felt really rooted in my resolutions for the new year. Better late than never, you say?

Maybe this had to with the type of frivolous resolutions I’d made in the past. Or maybe it was because there weren’t any serious repercussions if I didn’t actually follow them through.

This hard-hitting realisation came one day when I was sitting down, just starting to make resolutions for the new year like how I always do. Immediately I recognised that something just felt different. The process felt so much weightier, unlike in the past, where it was always…flighty.  Some of the resolutions I made then were even made just for the sake of it!

This time, as soon as the thought of resolutions popped into my head, it was like a gatling cannon firing away. I had thought about a lot of these things prior, and I already knew what had to be done. Some of these resolutions were also past years’ resolutions – the difference now is that there WILL be repercussions if I don’t follow them through.

In a nutshell, these are the four most important ones:

  1. Stay healthy by being conscientious with taking my meds, which will allow me to run again, which in turn will allow me to lose weight. I definitely do NOT want to look fat on my wedding day. Interjections of “…but you’re not fat!” will not be entertained. As long as I think I am, I am.
  2. Think far and exercise frugality to the highest degree possible. I’ve been doing quite well in this department but I think I can do better if I can fully avoid windowshopping.
  3. Education. By equipping ourselves with knowledge on how to tread the waters ahead of us, we’ll have a better shot at a lasting marriage. This includes getting spiritually in tune.
  4. Book important vendors by June. We’re still shortlisting – it’s so hard to choose! Especially when the ones that we want are out of our budget. My brain is still working hard to persuade my heart to embrace the concept of settling. It’s just not in my nature, with things that are especially important to me. :(

So, there. It’s really do or die this time.

Now being able to say “I’m getting married next year” freaks me out, so at least that’ll help!