I have been sooo busy you cannot imagine. Well, ok maybe those of you who have gone through the home renovation process can.
To cut to the chase, Faz and I finalised the design for our house just last week and renovation works have commenced! The hacking work is now complete!
When Faz texted me pictures of the end product, my heart swelled with joy and pride. I mean, I know it’s just walls and I’m aware of how I sound like I’m exaggerating but I am really just emotional like that.
Perhaps a little background story to put things into perspective: We got our keys in October 2014 but we’re only starting the renovation now four months later because we had initially made a mistake choosing the wrong interior designer. How did we come to choose this ID? Let’s just say we listened to our brain and not our heart.
We found that this ID did not have our interests at heart a single bit. Looking back, I should’ve seen the very first red flag. He came to our very first meeting with preconceived ideas of his own, and he hadn’t even asked us about what we had in mind — this meeting was to do just that! At first it did seem like he was proactive and all but it didn’t take long before I knew he was just interested in using his ideas for his portfolio.
What a mistake it was to set our second appointment with him the very day we collected our keys, at the new flat. What began as a day to rejoice became a day utterly ruined because this guy was just pushing his ideas. Any suggestion we had were quickly dismissed as not the best way to do things. They were “not unique”, “not the best way to utilise the space”. He knew damn well we had reservations about his proposal, but get this — he went ahead to ask us if he could go ahead to prepare the quotation! This was only our SECOND meeting. The rate at which he wanted us to sign on the dotted line was ridiculous.
I just knew right then that I could never work with an ID like that because I am simply a person who does not appreciate being told what to do and how to do it. And especially when it’s MY bloody house. Faz said he had never seen a face of someone who had just gotten a new house so black.
See, the thing is we had paid a deposit (probably worth a nice dining table) upfront. Of course we had to have some consideration for that hard-earned money. Friends we related our experience to said we should just be stern with him and tell him what we want because ultimately it’s our house and we’re the ones paying him. Yes, true, but are we not paying him for his ideas? If he’s not even interested in getting to know what we want, how is he to offer us usable ideas in line with our vision?
We ultimately ditched him because we decided that we shouldn’t put our house at stake just for the sake of the deposit. Their terms and conditions stated that it was non-refundable, but we figured we’d just try to write in and get it back, since the fault’s on their part. I vaguely told them what happened (because it was hard to articulate everything on e-mail), left my contact number and told them they could call me if they needed more details. Without so much as a call to find out from us what really happened, in their reply they said that after speaking to the said ID, they decided that they simply “did not agree with me” and refused to refund me. The bloody ID had lied to them, saying that we had ASKED him to draw up the quotation!
I WENT BESERK. I shot them a super lacerative email in which I questioned their integrity. Apparently that got the director’s attention, and a meeting was set up for us to meet him. Long story cut short, we agreed to a 50% refund. I could’ve pushed for more but Faz didn’t want to push our luck. In fact he’s just so non-confrontational in nature that he had just wanted to give in to them and move on without getting our refund back. Crazy! If you don’t want your money back, let me take it!
So a few lessons to be learnt here:
- Sometimes it’s not all that bad to follow your heart. In fact, the times I followed my heart paid off tremendously.
- Ask, and ye shall receive.
- Never, ever, mess with me.
In a twist of events though, the director actually turned out to be likeable. Not in the sense that made us want to go be friends with him, but he succeeded in watering us down. He succeeded in making us feel that we were important to him, even when he knew were walking away. It’s just too bad that his principle of client importance didn’t extend to his ID, as well as the customer “care” officer I was in e-mail correspondence with. He succeeded in making us walk away with an untarnished view of the company — we instead blamed the individual we engaged. And I suppose it really is true that it all boils down to the individual, because Faz in fact has a friend who had engaged the same company but a different ID, and he has only good things to say. Anyway, something to learn from the director about business and customer relations!
So then I turned to this fabulous ID I’ve been following for a while now, and it was like a breath of fresh air because — FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO SPEAKS MY LANGUAGE! But even with a great ID, home renovations are no joke — especially for analytical and detail-oriented people me, because we tend to treat every home reno decision like a life decision!
After about a month of going back and forth with the design, we’re finally down to the action! It’s kinda a downer that the reno’s only just started but already put on hold owing to the Chinese New Year festivities. But it’s ok. Happy workers, happy home owners!
If all goes well, we should be able to move in end Apr or early May.
SO, SO EXCITED!!
A huge part of my stress and anxiety, besides venue, was our outfits.
We went for our outfit selection two weeks ago, and no one could’ve expected (except me — but I’ll explain later) that I’d leave the boutique feeling…
FM’s dresses, as gorgeous as they were, just weren’t ME.
Now I kind of expected this since I’d stalked their facebook page enough to know that their house style wasn’t quite what I had in mind. For instance, I’d always wanted to wear the classic songket, but I knew their style was more lacy. I had also established very early into my research that I’d have to tailor-make my evening dress because I knew I was going to have a hard time finding more covered-up options in their collection. What I had in mind for this was more red carpet glam than fairytale princessy. In all fairness I already had specific visions of what I wanted, so it made the selection all the more difficult. And my vision was this: a non-white, non-lace and non-poofy sheath dress (hand me the best shapewear please — I’ll need it) that covers my shoulders and upper arms. Non-lace because I don’t want to have to wear an opaque bodysuit underneath the lace just to cover-up because that would just look awful, unless you’re going to be wearing a hijab with it.
I knew there were going to be limitations. Yet I still took the plunge because I adore FM’s make-up. I just had to pray that somehow something will magically appear for me.
But unfortunately, as far as our first visit proved, no magic was conjured. I reserved the outfits I tried on, but believe me, I was not at all happy with my picks.
I had two options: settle, or tailor-make an extra outfit (this was going to be either the nikah dress or the songket — I can’t afford both), on top of the evening dress that I already knew from the beginning I had to tailor-make.
By now I think it’s pretty darn obvious how much I hate the idea of settling, but I did seriously consider going down that path because I didn’t want to spend any more money. Faz was already giving me grief, saying I was “spiralling out of control“.
It annoys me to no end when I excitedly tell him an idea and he immediately kills it, responding with “How much?”. I was merely telling him we ought to just make an appointment with Fatimah herself to discuss the dresses, but he was already starting to give me grief about the costs. What are you talking about? We don’t even know how much it’s going to cost, and that’s precisely what the appointment is for. I think I’m fairly reasonable — if it’s beyond what we’d be willing to pay, I’d decline. But what if it’s actually affordable and we missed the opportunity just because we thought it was more expensive and didn’t bother to find out?
Well, I wasn’t going to let that happen to me, so we made that darned appointment.
I obviously know cost is important, but couldn’t he have been a little more empathetic, try to see it from my perspective first, then get to the cost part later? I mean, it’s the saddest thing when everything else is in place except the dress on your own body — and you’re the bride!
So I took half-day leave yesterday, and we went down to the boutique for the second time. The difference this time was that I left the boutique ALL SMILES, WAY OVER THE MOON.
Alhamdulillah God granted me my (paltry — yes, I realise) wishes because Kak Fatimah brought out a couple of new dresses we hadn’t seen during our first visit, and I fell in love with them instantly!
So there — I’ve got my nikah and songket outfits settled, and as per status quo, I’ll only be tailoring my evening dress. No extra money spent!
As we were leaving the boutique, Faz remarked that this “trial” was a blessing in disguise so that we could come again and be met by these gorgeous new dresses. I can’t agree more, but also the moral of this story is to:
LISTEN TO YOUR WIFE!
I’m using this phrase a lot these days in place of “I told you so“. It’s become sort of a joke now, because he recently realised after almost ten years — would you believe it — that I actually give useful advice! Geez.
Anyway, after that we made a long-awaited trip down to Iris Tailor to make his medium grey three-piece suit. He kept putting it off at one time because he wanted to “tunggu second or third week bulan puasa ah, mana tahu dah slim sikit“. Err, not sure that was actually the case yesterday when they took his measurements, but we’re very excited to see how his suit’ll turn out because we’ve seen a lot of good reviews about this Iris Tailor!
Since this huge chunk of my worries are solved now, I’m feeling sooo much better, and ready to take on other tasks!
Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. Ya Allah, please let things pan out even better.
Before I get into the story about our nikah venue, there is one very important change in plans.
Instead of going through the whole shebang in one day on Saturday, 26th October 2013, we’ve decided to split the nikah and sanding into two days. So the plan now is to nikah the evening before — on Friday, 25th October 2013 after Isya’ — and then sanding the next day.
So whatever number on the ticker you see now on the sidebar, you have to -1! =O
I am ashamed to admit we were driven to make this decision by a very vain and frivolous reason (please don’t laugh): we thought our photos would look so much more colourful and varied if our wedding would be split into two days and guests would be wearing different outfits! #facepalm
Initially we thought we’d rather just get over the tiredness of getting married in one day, but after mulling over it, splitting it into two days does seem like a better idea because apart from the reason stated above, we’ll also have a bit more breathing space. We won’t have to rush, and we can soak up the most important day of our lives to-date. And when someone asks, we’ll be able to recount every moment, instead of saying it was all just a blur.
Now, I’ve had this one dilemma ever since we embarked on this journey, and that is where to hold our nikah ceremony: at the mosque, or at home.
I’ve always wanted to get married in a mosque, but more particularly the mosque my family used to frequent when we were growing up, before life demanded more of our time. But the issue was that my parents know a lot of people there — some of whom they may or may not be close with anymore, since it’s been a while since our last visit. To hold my nikah there and not invite them to the wedding wouldn’t be very nice, y’know what I mean?
The reason why it’s regretfully not possible to invite all of them is because the wedding is a combined event. Faz and I have agreed to stick to our quotas, so it wouldn’t be fair if I were to increase the number of guests on my side. And let’s not forget our venue isn’t that big.
So as a result it was agreed that we should just nikah at home. But as the day draws nearer, the thought of having to spring-clean the entire house seemed more and more unbearable. I’ve got so many other things to do. My family members are also busy with their own lives — I didn’t want to burden them with something so time and energy consuming.
After much discussion with my parents, we finally came to a compromise. We’ve decided to go ahead and nikah at the mosque, and my parents will get to invite their friends from the mosque, but only to the nikah reception on Friday. To top it off, they will be paying for their guests as well. Everyone wins!
I’m so stoked because:
- No need to get all beat up about cleaning the house.
It has been tried and tested that even a week’s leave from work isn’t enough to get the house ready in time for Eid. So by getting solemnised at the mosque, we don’t have to spend so much time on the house. The time could be better spent doing my DIY projects for the wedding.
- No cramming 100 people in the house.
Which ultimately means more comfort! My house is not air-conditioned, so everyone will suffer from the heat.
- Relatives and friends will go home after the nikah and dinner at the mosque.
As opposed to having it at home and them hanging around till late, that is. And no need to clean up after they’ve left! Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that they’re not welcome, but I would think my whole family needs the sleep to recharge for the next day. Just so you know, I take my sleep very seriously!
- No need to set up an in-house mini dais.
I was planning on engaging Kasai Sayang for a mini dais if we were to nikah at home. Last I enquired, this would cost me $450. For usage of the mosque prayer hall for two hours, it’s only $180. $270 saved there!
Last weekend my parents and I brought Faz for a tour around the mosque and he was agreeable to having our nikah done there. Poor guy got the jitters looking at the prayer hall — the very spot he’ll be sitting in in 178 days!
So there’s been a change in one of our vendors.
After months and months — no, literally a year — of contemplation (meaning we had thought about it thoroughly), we finally dropped RF for photography. They will still be doing our videography, though, because I feel it’s their strong suit.
And in their place for photography, we’ve engaged An Analog Affair!
I came across An Analog Affair online quite a while ago and it was love at first sight. We met Fadly, An Analog Affair’s one man show, in February last year at his place, and not only were we blown away by his work and its quality, we were also blown away by the interior of his house. I couldn’t stop gushing about how his place looked like a picture right out of a magazine!
I can’t deny it hurts a little in our pockets and in our hearts because RF’s packaged photography + videography deal we got exactly a year ago was mega cost-saving. We had initially wanted to get them only for videography as mentioned here, but we got reeled in by the deal they offered. At the time we did already have several other photographers in mind (An Analog Affair included), but because we wanted to save cost, we chucked our wants aside.
But over the past one year, our decision kept haunting me. I finally decided that I would regret it if I didn’t go with my heart for this one. Photos immortalise moments, and for a defining moment such as one’s wedding, I felt that it would be crucial to get a photographer whose works you really like.
It’s a little dramatic, yes, but with An Analog affair, we were like soulmates — no matter how many other people you’ve been with, you’ll always come back to that one person. It was the same thing with The Wedding Chateau.
But quite jialat on the pocket lah kan if everyone turns out to be a soulmate. Speaking of which reminds me of a brutally sarcastic remark Faz made not too long ago while I was throwing ideas around:
Faz: Wahlau, everytime you talk wedding, money comes out of your mouth! Senang jer nak pakai duit?
Faz: (Rather abruptly) Eh I nak pergi toilet lah. You have a couple of ten dollar notes?
Me: Huh? For what?
Faz: So I can wipe my ass.
Ewah ewahhh punyalah sarcastic! Ideas only mah!
Anyway, in spite of everything, I would still recommend RF for anyone who is looking for an affordable vendor who is honest and approachable, and actually churns out decent photos. Admirable qualities, if you ask me.
It’s just that their style wasn’t quite what I was looking for. Plus, I couldn’t settle with “decent”. I wanted EPIC.
I knew there was no chance of the other popular photographers who were charging a little lesser still being available at this point, so we skipped the enquiries and went straight to Fadly. I don’t know if it’s just the Malay wedding scene that sees this phenomenon of brides-to-be booking wedding vendors way, way in advance, but hoping that Chinese brides aren’t as kiasu (Fadly had shared with us he does more of Chinese weddings), we enquired if he was still available on our dates. And whaddaya know, he was!
EPIC came with its own price tag, but the outcome is going to be worth it.
(Fadly is one of Singapore’s three Malay photographers who are members of world renowned UK’s prestigious Master Photographers Association (MPA), alongside Fandy Razak of Studiodua and Shukri Samsuri of TheProjectPixel Photography.)
I must say I’ve also been lucky with Faz, because he accedes to my requests most of the time — but not without a bit of work on my part sometimes also, lah. In this case, I was able to convince him that change was necessary, even when he didn’t think so initially.
Well either that, or he’s just giving in to make me happy. <insert huge grin>
Anyway because of our new awesome photographer, we now have a renewed zeal to lose weight and look good in photos!
I’m pleased to report that Project Wedding Body is in full swing! On the other hand, it’s been a little quiet on the wedding preparation side of things. We still desperately need to cover catering and decor.
What are the options I’m currently looking at?
I want a less traditional menu for my wedding, and I’m finding it hard to find a Malay caterer who does this. At this point, we are most probably going with CJS Catering based on the reviews we’ve heard. But what’s keeping me back for now is the lack of other options. I do want to be able to shortlist a couple of caterers and make a decision from a bird’s eye view, and not just grab the first option that comes our way. So we will look around for a bit more before we commit.
As for decor, the pricier vendor I’ve been referring to in my previous posts which I MUST MUST MUST engage or die is…The Wedding Chateau! We met the talented Najihah armed with our moodboard about a month ago before she went on holiday. She should be back by now, so we’re just waiting patiently while she works on the proposal.
Sidetracking a bit, I honestly thought that creating a moodboard would be a piece of cake. How wrong I was. When I laid out that blank page in front of me, I suddenly didn’t know what I wanted anymore. I had taken mental notes and saved images of the bits and pieces of weddings I’d seen that I liked — but now the challenge is….how do you put them together without turning the place into a madhouse?
Although the moodboard we came up with was admittedly far from what we wanted, it was a starting point. So we brought it to meet Najihah anyway. I’m not going to worry about the concept that much for now because judging from TWC’s previous works, I have full confidence they’ll be able to make my wedding decor as gorgeous as it can be.
The only thing I’m anxious about is putting a deposit down to secure them! She shared with us that she may stop doing weddings (or do them on a case-by-case basis) and focus on smaller events where they will be able to go all out on details. What if she decides to stop doing weddings sooner and leave us high and dry? I’ll be damned if I have to look for a substitute.
On top of things, I didn’t get to meet Rolling Frames at the expo after all. They were brimming with assignments and couldn’t participate. I’ll have to set up an appointment with them separately.
Now, onto things that are making progress!
I’ve lost about 2-3kg since I started Project Wedding Body. I’m not convinced I’ve lost that much in fats because for sure a fraction of this is attributed to water weight.
For starters, I make it a point to work out at least thrice a week — four times when I can. This is made even easier because my colleagues and I have started hitting the gym twice a week during lunch, so I only have to go another once or twice on my own.
Another aspect that I’ve had to change is diet. No more mindless snacking, desserts and suppers. I even tried stringent calorie-counting for a few days (keeping to 1,800 calories), but not knowing the exact calorie count for certain food items annoyed me. It was too much work (emotionally too), so I stopped. I am however just more aware of my calorie intake in that I read food labels now. If the food item is calorie-laden, I’ll go for a healthier choice. Simple as that.
(A random trivia for you: Did you know that fish and chips contain a whopping 1,200 calories?! If you’re my weight and size, that’s more than half your calorie allowance! No need to eat anything else for the rest of the day already.)
To help with the weight loss programme, I’m looking to participate in a couple of races: The Yellow Ribbon Prison Run (6km), the SAFRA Singapore Bay Run (10km) and the Great Eastern Women’s Run (10km). And with Ramadhan coming up (which reminds me I haven’t paid my dues), I’ll be losing more weight in no time.
AHHH. So excited at the prospect of a slimmer me (and a slimmer boyfriend)!
So June is less than a month away now. If you recall, one of my 2012 resolutions was to book most of the important vendors by June.
That’s going really well. -.-
To date we’ve secured the venue, photographer and videographer. We’ll talk about our choices later on a sidenote, but yes, ONLY these three! I am beginning to panic a little.
After self-disecting my very muddled brain, I now know the true reason why I’ve been putting off making appointments with vendors.
Apart from general indecisiveness (which bridal company to choose, how many outfits I want tailored, etc), I found out that I am actually RELUCTANT to splurge on a half-day affair.
Right now, I would say I’m about 60% reluctant. The remaining 40% is basically me being a brat stamping my feet, going “NAK JUGAK!!”.
Heck, who am I kidding. Ok, it’s the other way round.
Still, 40% reluctance is a stronghold. It’s almost half! Every time I think of how the money can go towards supplementing our plans for our house (I’ve grand plans for this too, much to the boyfriend’s trepidation), the percentage goes up. And then when I think of wedding celebrations — the many people I treasure around me sharing our joy, pretty dresses, how smashing everything in its entirety will look in photos — well, it goes down again. It’s very volatile.
I have a feeling we’ll end up at the “NAK JUGAK” end of the spectrum — simply because my heart wants it. We’re trying to cut down on costs, but it’s really hard because we’ve already cut out the frivolous things and cutting any further would mean a compromise on quality (plus there are a few aspects of the wedding that I just can’t persuade my heart to let go). The reality of it is that I think I would be more upset if we didn’t go ahead with these things than if we chose to scrimp on it. Furthermore, money can be replenished but you only get married once. And I mean, it’s not like we’ll be spending an unreasonable amount to begin with…
/sends doe-eyed looks the boyfriend’s way
Gah, a rather pointless post, I know.
After much going back and forth, it has finally been decided that there will be no gifts to be exchanged from either side on top of the engagement ring and tanda hantaran that he’ll be presenting. Read of my dilemma here.
It was after we started to look around for his gifts — we had even shortlisted a few! — that we sat down and really talked about it. I suppose he’d had enough of my rantings and ramblings that he gave in. But really though. Practically thinking, he’s also got a family trip to Beijing coming up, and it would actually help if he didn’t have to get me extra stuff for the engagement.
Although he saw where I was coming from and actually found himself agreeing with me, he was still pretty bummed that this gift exchange thingy isn’t happening. Of course I feel terrible about it because he had wanted it so bad. I, too, secretly feel a bit disappointed because we’d found some really awesome stuff for me to give him that would look good all dolled up on the gift trays.
It’s scary to think how easily things can get blown out of proportion when you’re caught in the moment.
Before these wedding plans even existed, both of us agreed that when the time comes, we would do away with an engagement ceremony because it just wasn’t necessary.
Today, obviously that has changed for him. He wants a ceremony to remember our engagement by. So we agreed on a small affair. But this small affair seemed to be growing in size with the addition of the gift exchange and other seemingly little things. The gifts give the ceremony more feel, he says.
Look at where we started from, and then look at where we are. We’ve come a long way, haven’t we?
So you see, it’s really that easy to lose sight of your objectives — made even easier with people around you throwing extravagant ceremonies. It’s easy to want what other people are having.
Today he lost sight of what we agreed upon. Tomorrow it could be me. Of course, we try as much to accommodate each other’s wishes – no one wants to be rigid. It’s a wedding for god’s sake, not the frickin’ army. But it all has to be within some kind of boundary.
Anyway he let his family in on our decision, and they think it’s a splendid idea. Phew! But then again of course it’s a splendid idea — it was my idea, and had been all along!
It’s easy for things to get blown out of proportion when you’re caught in the moment. Don’t lose sight of your objectives. Keep each other in check.
With just two more months to go to the engagement, the boyfriend and I are ramping it up.
I decided it would be good to gain some hands-on experience with the gubahan of the gift trays in case I would want to go DIY for the wedding. So we’ve started to look for gift trays. We’re thinking to buy the gift trays and sell it off later after the wedding because we haven’t found someone or a vendor who can rent it to us at a price that’s worth us not actually buying it.
Recently the boyfriend was asked by his family how the preparations were going. So he listed the items he’s bought to gift me yada, yada. Then they asked the bonus question: “So what will she be giving you?”
Now this is the part that needs explanation.
Remember how I said in this post that I didn’t even want to hold an engagement ceremony? I was, and still am of the opinion that it’s a waste of money. But I later agreed, having in mind that our two families have yet to meet, and on one term: it will be a small affair.
Now different people have different understandings of what a “small affair” is. My understanding is:
- it’s just between our two families, and perhaps some elder persons to head discussions (my grandfather on my side, his uncle on his)
- no gifts will be exchanged (just the engagement ring and tanda), and
- I wouldn’t even have to get an outfit especially for the occasion or hire a makeup artist.
That’s how informal I envisioned it to be. It would be just as informal as say, coming to visit for hari raya.
But he insisted he wanted to present gifts. So we discussed, and our agreement was fine if he wanted to present gifts, but there will be no gift exchange. Meaning I will not be giving any gifts in return. Just a hearty buffet to fill hungry stomachs and satiate taste buds.
I know the tradition is to exchange gifts. But if we were to really follow tradition, there’d be another 101 things we’d have to do. One of the terms of my agreement to the engagement ceremony was that there will be no gift exchange because I didn’t want to spend unnecessarily. If he wanted to get gifts, I shouldn’t be pressured into doing the same, should I? To me, what’s necessary is our families getting to know each other and discussing the wedding.
I totally understand how this might sound to people. Unfair? Stingy? Cheapskate?
Well yes, in fact I AM trying to be “cheap”. To save money for bigger things like the wedding and the house.
I don’t know why this wasn’t communicated to his family earlier — an oversight on our part. Because they were surprised and questioned our decision when the boyfriend informed them that I wouldn’t be presenting gifts.
With proper explanation, I suppose they could see it from my perspective. But the boyfriend felt a little cornered at the time and didn’t do much to help the impression they probably got, sadly.
On one hand if I don’t give in, this whole thing will kick off with them having a bad impression of me, and it’ll probably nag at me for a while. On the other hand, I hate being pressured into doing something I don’t want to do. And in addition I’ll have to spend on things I didn’t set a budget for.
Some people might suggest getting inexpensive gifts. But just for the sake of satisfying the requirements of tradition? What’s the point, really? I might as well make it worth the while and get stuff he’ll actually appreciate. Don’t get me wrong, I have no qualms getting gifts for the love of my life. He deserves all the gifts in the world! But the real problem here — besides that getting gifts wasn’t even part of the arrangement in the first place — is TIMING.
With this springing up on me just two months from the engagement, I don’t have the budget for it. To be getting everything in two months would be hard on the pocket. Not forgetting that Eid, which is in a month’s time, would also require some spending.
Also, truth be told, I just started saving. Not just for the wedding but my personal savings. I could’ve started saving a year ago after I was done paying for my degree, but I went on a shopping binge instead and found it akin to moving mountains to save. I now wish I would’ve started saving earlier. Well, you live and you learn.
I’m still contemplating if I should get the gifts. I’m kinda leaning more towards getting them, on the basis of making a good first impression, but it’s not final. We’ll see.
Keep family updated on plans, even if you’re planning the event on your own.
As much as I am excited about getting married, it’s a bit overwhelming to think that there will be so many decisions to be made over the next two years. And then some. Oh boy, and then some.
It’s as if life is just finally beginning. Marriage makes the past 25 years feel like preparation. It’s so surreal. The decisions that lie ahead, when compared to the decisions I’ve had to make, makes the latter seem so minuscule, so microscopic.
With marriage, every decision I make is a responsibility toward my husband. And if we decide to have children, the decisions we make are responsibilities toward them, so that they, in turn can make responsible decisions for themselves and then their children, and so on.
Every decision just gets weightier, in that it contributes bit by bit to the bigger picture. Every decision is lesser and lesser about me as an individual.
A humbling thought.