I’m a Bridezilla, hear me ROAR.

So it seems the way to go to have the perfect wedding in Singapore……..is to be kiasu.

 ki.a.su (kee-ah-soo)

Hokkien adjective literally meaning “afraid of losing”. A highly pejorative description beloved of Singaporeans. Possibly our defining national characteristic. The nearest English equivalent is “dog in a manger”, though even that is pretty mild.

– Source: talkingcock.com

Afraid of losing is really just part of the equation. Not only are we afraid of losing, apparently we’ll do anything by any means possible to win

A nation that stays perpetually connected, we have information at our fingertips. We have information at our disposal. As with virtually any other business nowadays, the wedding industry has also taken to Facebook. And this easy access to information only means one thing to a bride-to-be: you gotta act fast. If you favour the work of a particular vendor, chances are there’s a horde more like you. If you can’t beat the kiasu crowd, for the sake of your own wedding, hell, you gotta join them.

From what I gather on forums, a good number of 2013 brides have even started securing vendors!

To survive today’s wedding planning, you’ve got to know exactly what you want. Be indecisive and you’ll find yourself left behind, scrambling to find a decent vendor that’s not already fully-booked. Ruthless, isn’t it.

So where do Faz and I stand in all of this?

The vision of our wedding for now is still a rather blurry one. We haven’t worked out the finer details yet, but I’ve identified several things I know I want for sure. Like how we will be married in a mosque, how it will be a combined wedding, how it will not be a large scale event of more than 800 guests, how we will not be wearing gaudy wedding outfits, how it will be in an air-conditioned venue, how my makeup will be natural-looking and not like a chiseled wooden cutout no thanks to excessive contouring.

We had the first draft of our guest list drawn up even before we got engaged so that we’d know which venues could work. Vendor-wise, we’ve already picked out and sent queries to a couple.

What’s next is to intensify the search. We’re probably going to have to talk to a few of our recently married friends for advice on the timeline and scope of tasks. I’ll also have to do more research and decide the theme and colours for the decor so that everything else can be worked around it.

And last but by no means the least, we’ve got to save like there’s no tomorrow.

We’ve been doing pretty well in that department, thankfully. Before, it was practically a must to splurge a couple of hundreds on clothing every month. Now, I rarely even think about shopping. It’s become acceptable to me to be wearing the same clothes to work every week. I think shopping twice a year is pretty reasonable, yes? We’ve cut down a lot on movies and restaurants too.

Looking back, although our engagement wasn’t necessarily necessary, I agree that putting an official seal on the relationship has its advantages in terms of helping us set our sights and put a positive pressure on us to be more responsible. Toward each other, toward our families, toward religion and toward money.

If I were to be completely honest, despite all the buzz above on wedding preparations, part of us wants to do away with the fluff and just stick with the basics. The very idea of this goes against every dream of a fairytale wedding I had as a young girl.

But that young girl also had no friggin’ idea what a fairytale wedding would cost 25 years later.

It seems pretty wasteful to throw away in a day, what you’ve saved for years,  just to serve a childhood fantasy. When it was just me alone in the picture, I wouldn’t have given a thought about starving to save up for a want. But like I’d mentioned before, things are lesser and lesser about me. This can get pretty upsetting at times but I keep reminding myself to think of the bigger picture.

Another thing that I absolutely know for sure, is that I do not want to wipe out our entire savings on the wedding and leave nothing to start the new chapter of our lives together, in our new home. No way is that going to happen.

I don’t want to go to either extremes, so we’ll have to find a way to meet in the middle. Do lots of comparative research.  Prioritise. Go for value-for-money. Grab good deals fast. Find ways to cut corners. Make educated choices.

Be kiasu. Win.

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