Phew.

After much going back and forth, it has finally been decided that there will be no gifts to be exchanged from either side on top of the engagement ring and tanda hantaran that he’ll be presenting. Read of my dilemma here.

It was after we started to look around for his gifts — we had even shortlisted a few! — that we sat down and really talked about it. I suppose he’d had enough of my rantings and ramblings that he gave in. But really though. Practically thinking, he’s also got a family trip to Beijing coming up, and it would actually help if he didn’t have to get me extra stuff for the engagement.

Although he saw where I was coming from and actually found himself agreeing with me, he was still pretty bummed that this gift exchange thingy isn’t happening. Of course I feel terrible about it because he had wanted it so bad. I, too, secretly feel a bit disappointed because we’d found some really awesome stuff for me to give him that would look good all dolled up on the gift trays.

It’s scary to think how easily things can get blown out of proportion when you’re caught in the moment.

Before these wedding plans even existed, both of us agreed that when the time comes, we would do away with an engagement ceremony because it just wasn’t necessary.

Today, obviously that has changed for him. He wants a ceremony to remember our engagement by. So we agreed on a small affair. But this small affair seemed to be growing in size with the addition of the gift exchange and other seemingly little things. The gifts give the ceremony more feel, he says.

Look at where we started from, and then look at where we are. We’ve come a long way, haven’t we?

So you see, it’s really that easy to lose sight of your objectives — made even easier with people around you throwing extravagant ceremonies. It’s easy to want what other people are having.

Today he lost sight of what we agreed upon. Tomorrow it could be me. Of course, we try as much to accommodate each other’s wishes – no one wants to be rigid. It’s a wedding for god’s sake, not the frickin’ army. But it all has to be within some kind of boundary.

Anyway he let his family in on our decision, and they think it’s a splendid idea. Phew! But then again of course it’s a splendid idea — it was my idea, and had been all along!

LESSON #02:
It’s easy for things to get blown out of proportion when you’re caught in the moment. Don’t lose sight of your objectives. Keep each other in check.



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